the music that can't be seen, but felt
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physical musical distractions will be gone finally in a few days' time.
i've had my fair share of problems with teachers personally. things fortunately go a full circle at times, which i'm very grateful for because, at least its not too late to make amends even after regretting the actions or lack thereof towards some particular teachers. before trying to put up a decent c minor beethoven recital again for the last time, there's a person who i'll try to do my best for. she's made me wake up from thinking that i'm a total goner at the piano; the countless repeated passages in the music room, the countless singing out of parts from her heart, and the teachings as well as forgivings. i'm not gonna dedicate any recitals to this teacher as it won't do her any justice (haha..), but i'll try my best.

had the chance to meet up with fats and yi a couple of evenings ago. and foong, greg and ip for lunch yesterday. i had seniors saying acj and acsi will just be a street apart when i was about to leave the acj experience for an ib one, of course before actually changing my mind at the last minute. physically yes, but the street did take much away which couldn't be replaced. at all. oh well. time's flying as fast as andy roddick's first serves or micah richards' pace.

i'm gonna stop listening to boston brass jazz and the charming walking bass, with the semi-emo semi-cantabile random muted trumpet/horn melodies. it makes you terribly lazy. haha.

listening to: the bostoners' autumn leaves and put it right here

performed 21:24 ©

i've admittedly lost quite a bit of faith in most things these days.
its getting harder to start believing, especially in myself in this mad final lap towards the end.
just got the quintet recording sorted out yesterday, thankful for it and the guys' help.
and then there were the two "jose"s; one made my day and the other, not quite, this week. mr sibaja and friends at boston brass impressing with their industry, and the other's mr mourinho and russian sugardaddy at stamford bridge. haha.
a crazy few weeks impending.

listening to: jd shaw on unbelievable horn and jose sibaja on improvising trumpet.

performed 15:43 ©

"i realise that when i look back i have found this apparent pull of solitary walks, of which i've continued to ignore with this inherent need for company. perhaps again my barest was for the wrong person, its led to jealousy and envy and i really don't like the way it always happens with the same two persons. but i have learnt, to keep distances despite being myself, that i can't commit to being with people i choose to be with when their level of commitance isn't the same. i suppose its called to love at an arm's length."

you know, tennis players, some of them have this weird habit of avoiding the courtlines while taking a walk to hit their serves or something along those lines. because it supposedly pays to be safe than to be sorry. having to avoid these lines all the time during games, is tiring. really, really tiring. having to consistently return good shots is no different too. gritting their teeth to put up a brave front in front of a tough arthur ashe crowd, not knowing what other weapons the opponent has in the bag, and it takes much to want to let go. i guess it isn't always about tennis. but then again, maybe the fault just lies with the tennis player. so just stop playing tennis and quit like tim henman when you know you can't take it anymore.

performed 00:03 ©

it's hard to figure things out when expectations are higher.

performed 00:32 ©